3 ways to trust your husband’s leadership

It’s no secret: I had a TOUGH time making the transition from Miss to Mrs.  I was MISS I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

Our generation has a tough time transitioning into married life in general. Many women are rightfully taught that we can do anything a man can do, while men are witnessing this truth play out in the everyday acts of their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and sisters who carry the load of so many; seemingly effortlessly.

It took several years for us to adopt and nurture the concept of Travis as the leader of our home. Our marriage is a work in progress. With trust comes the requirement to be vulnerable, empathetic and patient. To begin the journey of truly entrusting Travis to be the leader of our home, there were several little things I did, but I’m sharing 3 pivotal steps that I believe made the greatest impact on my journey.

1. Honest Discussion

Flat out, I let him know I didn’t trust his leadership.  Why didn’t I trust it? Because HE didn’t trust his own leadership. He recognized that he needed to really learn what his role was as a leader and what it was not. During this raw and honest discussion, he also admitted he was having a hard time trusting his leadership because I always questioned it, debated it and then refuted it!  How ironic…I began MY journey by opening up and being brutally honest and got a sharp dose of my own reality to digest.

Our very next conversation was a discussion we should have had before marriage.  It was a discussion about expectations, boundaries and our individual priorities from an emotional standpoint.  Before marriage, we discussed our goals, views and what we wanted out of life, but we missed the conversation about the road we’d like to take to get there and what we expect the route to look like.

2. Build his confidence

The biggest obstacle preventing my husband from taking his place as the leader of our home was confidence. Neither he nor I were confident in his ability to lead.  Following our chat, I knew that confidence began with me. I now never miss an opportunity to let Travis know how proud I am of him and how confident I am in his ability to lead our family to greatness.

3. Loosen Control

Let’s be honest…a LARGE part of why I didn’t trust or necessarily even want Travis to lead is straight up because I’m a control freak!  No underlying issues or emotions, nothing that requires deep thought or discussion.  Simply put, I like things done how and when I want them to be!!!  I like it my way!  But in marriage, it can’t be “my way or the highway.”  I had to loosen control (notice I’m still a work in progress as I have yet to release control totally…don’t judge me).

Some modern day wives may disagree with the notion that the husband is or should be the leader of the home.  We’re a judgment-free community and I believe in living out the marriage that is ideal for you and your husband.  If you are the wife that wants a deeper and more spiritual resource into what a husband’s leadership should look like to help you in opening your own heart-to-heart chat with hubby, check out the fabulous resources below:

How does a husband lead his wife and family?

Women’s Love Guide: Miss to Mrs: How Phenomenal Women can Enjoy a Happy Marriage

Rhea